As we settled in to a new year, the dinner time gatherings in the RS department have once again become ritual for many of Miss Halls loyal disciples. Today, the conversation turned to 'Big Fat Gyspy Weddings', with Clair confessing to her 'wedding' folder on her home computer (a folder that has her whole wedding planned down to a t- wedding cake, location, guests-she stated that Katie Atkin was to be flower girl-urgh!, buffet, etc) Miss Hall was NOT impressed to say the least.
In typical Sarah Hall style, she insisted on her views that she 'will never get married' because '1 in 3 marriages end in divorce'. As you can see, Sarah reaches the highest possible standards for a Religious Studies teacher at the prestigious Blue Coat Church Of England school. We're not sure if Dan The Man agrees with Hall's controversial views on marriage vows, however we're sure he has no choice but to nod his head in agreement as Sarah rants over their 10 course dinner at the Michelin starred restaurant.
The topic of retirement also cropped up in conversation today. Katie Atkin and Colt May were publically stating their desires to retire as soon as possible as Miss Hall looked on with encouragement displayed all over her face. She warned us all to stay in education for as long as possible (this was once her dream but Dan didn't want to date a student any longer, she also felt that with her PHD-although the authenticy of this was also doubted today due to Colts claim that Sarah bought it off the internet- there was no point in gaining any more qualifications, most of the teachers at Blue Coat seem to not even have done their SAT's). Of course now Miss Hall has apparently joined Twitter, as mentioned earlier in the blog, she is worried about future employers becoming suspicious of her teaching skills due to certain Tweets. Due to this, she has contacted The Daily Mail and they are offering DPF and a friend a trip around the Labour Party head office in London if the impersonator of Miss Hall is named and shamed by the 1st February.
The congregations in the RS rooms have also lead to many students addressing Sarahs eating habits, or lack of them. Last week, she was spotted eating 4 leafs of lettuce, 2 crackers, a pot of humous and a small yoghurt. Hardly a fitting lunch for a 40 year old working woman, eh? Neverless, the spotters of this lunch thought that it may be a one off and that Sarah must usually eat healthy meals but no, just today she was seen eating a 'firebomb salad' or something that sounded like that. It certainly resembled a bomb disaster, and not a very pleasant one. Sarah is decaying before out very eyes. Her eyes are heavy, her face is whiter than usual (even when she's not stood next to pictures of a 13-16 year old Katie Atkin), her body is drooping and her fake posh accent is starting to deteriorate, Miss Hall is fast becoming a prime example for a 'contingent being'. So, we are now asking you to donate any spare food you have, tins of beans, prime cuts of beef, tomatoes, anything you have needs to be fed to Sarah Hall soon before she winds up fainting on parents evening and dashes DPF's dreams of his mum and Sarah becoming eternal best friends.
On that note, I must go. I have food hampers to sort out for Sarah (truth be told, they've been robbed from that African Christmas Box appeal- she didn't agree with anyway). I shall love you and leave you, until next time we meet again!
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