Tuesday 30 November 2010

"Forget Rob's bungee, I have marking!" SRH

As the sun rose on a sunny, yet cold, November morning, who could’ve know what was in store for the day ahead? A minor hangover could not stop Rob “Runner Up” Smith from venturing into the cold for the good of charity. But alas, this isn’t about Rob!

Of course Sarah “Hemp Smoking” Hall is our topic of today (well, I suppose our topic of everyday!) After being ‘contacted’ by Mrs. Smith, we were sure that SRH was aware of the crazy jump that Rob was preparing for with his egg whites. We hoped and prayed that she would turn up to view his act of heroism. More than this, we hoped that compatriots Bayleaf and Ulster-Unionist Jamison would turn up too, but surely this was asking too much? (What with the Ulster demonstrations on the ROI border).

Hours later, whilst waiting patiently beside the beautiful scenery of Salford – a Dirty Old Town for any of you music fanatics – what popped up but the placard of the little Ulster-Unionist Jamison, “I AM BRITISH” it stated in bold writing, which was barely legible due to Irish education. However, after quickly quelling her patriotism, we briefly revelled in delight at the fact that the “chip off” the old block had turned up! Her Irish scent (Guinness) blew in the wind and spirits raised despite the ever falling temperatures. What was next to happen was truly outstanding...

A lady dressed in all white (English GCSE students could compare her to Blanche in ‘Street Car’), and another lady – looking quite ‘super-dry’ – were spotted viewing the crane which Rob was serenely preparing himself for. Contain ourselves, we could not. Calmly turning 180 degrees to face our direction, Sarah’s spliff was clearly noticeable and we were sure it was them. The day, from then on, turned from good to great. Sarah cracking famous jokes about Mrs. Hollis, Jamison with her “I love Potatoes” t-shirt and the Bayleaf singing “Pea Head’s on his tractor” truly made the day. Rob bravely jumped (to which you can still donate to! http://www.justgiving.com/Robert-Smith-4-Mind/?fb_ref=fundraising-page-top&fb_source=profile_oneline) and buckets of tears were shed by the trio.

So, all in all? A good day out. We hope it will be one of many with SRH
♥.

By TJVWH.

Wednesday 24 November 2010

Revenge of the chocolate thief!

It has been a very sad day for Sarah, which explains her current mood! Today she lost something thats been very dear to her, something she loved more than her beloved Dan, and the question is; who did it? Todays Sarah's very expensive "£60 massive pen drive" was smashed to smitheries by some jealous, dim, heartless fool and she is offering a £200 reward for anyone with info!

We all know who the two most likely suspects could be! The first is Ellie (W)Horsefield, the original Cadburys thief. Ellie was outed earlier this month by Trew Trew, and was not happy about it! Was it her who slammed the cupboard door shut, and destroyed the remaining forms references that were all saved on it? And lets face it, Ellie is also highly jealous of Saz's good looks!

Suspect number two is the devil herself, Kinsman! Was she the one who leaned on the cupboard whilst changing into some flats? She has also been accused of stealing the chocolate earlier this week! When Sarah and Amy are in a room together, fireworks fly in the competition of who can say the most!

Or was it a member of the RS department? (Most likely). Jameson and Sarah have had a massive feud over the mystery routine that the form (as well as every other lonely individual with nothing to do during lunch) is putting together. Claire felt that Sarah was giving herself the best role and confronted her, cornering in the office and speaking in her Irish twang!

Or finally, suspect number 4, the wild card! Jules. Nothing else to say for this one!

However I have also formulated my own theory! As everyone noticed the bing bong was during the middle of the prayer, when the pen drive was ruined, maybe it was a greater transcendent being that caused this terrible event. Perhaps, an almighty and powerful creator, acting in an a priori manner caused a gust of wind to push the cupboard shut thus trashing the pen-drive? But why you may as? Why abuse Sarah's free will, and her continuation of the original sin, which she received from the fruits of Adams loin? Because of her hate for Christians and love for the Jews perhaps?

Well its not for us, but for you to decide!

Answers on a post card please, baring in mind the reward!

Much Love,

PC Bolton
Didsbury Police

Thursday 18 November 2010

WHAT'S THIS?




AMY KINSMAN AND HANNAH D'ANZI HAVE
BEEN SEEN SNACKING ON CADBURY'S CARAMEL CHOCOLATES....



JUST SAYIN'.

is this enough evidence to clear Ellie Whoresfield's name.
Or is it false evidence placed on my computer by ellie???

Just a little something.

I know its been a long time since we've had anything up on the blog, personally, I blame DPF for running away for his birthday to have a couple of days in the luxury of NY (I don't know if this is true or not, just what I have heard.)

And I myself have been off in london/ill, and it isn't untill now when i got round to attempting a recovery and getting on with some work that I stumbled upon Saz's bloodle page. I was just about to message her to see if there was any theology work I could be getting on with, when I got a little distracted.

I found myself agreeing with a couple on her interests list; bell and sebastian (cartoon and band) the smiths, all three of the classic 80's films.
And of course, I laughed, as the obvious ones were up there, Strictly, High School Musical, Discussing the existence/non existence of God, and of course Israel - Sarah Halls beloved home land.

I didn't know how to feel, when I saw Cities of Gold. I googled, enthusiastically in hope that it was something to do with Jerusalem, or some religious lands where she visited so I could make some witty dig about holiday snaps. But no. I searched and search. and all i could find was:



Yes. A cartoon about Spanish orphans on a mission to find the seven city's of gold. Clearly, this is the inspiration that lead her to traveling around the middle east to the promised land, but once can only question, why she idolises these Spanish Orphans. This question will be followed by another on more information about her brothers band, as it seems we don't know enough about her family, and know rather too much about dan.






















That is it. I will write more about SRH when I actually see her tomorrow.

Sorry for such a delayed post, and sorry that this one isn't quite up to usual standard. I hope it will do.

Lots of Love and God bless. L x

Thursday 4 November 2010

13 SRH takes a form trip to Poland.

Or so it would seem. Yes, Sarah Hall headed up the Auschwitz Trip as she has done for the past couple of years.

Year 13 students write a well formed and persuasive letter convincing Sarah that they are the people to be on that trip for one reason or another.

It was fishy when Sophie Drews and Grace Maher (seen below) both members of Sarah Hall's form got chosen to go on the trip.

Then, at a later date after a sudden drop out of the trip from local college; Oldham Sixth Form we see that two more places on the trip were added, this was awesome for those other people that applied but never got on... You'd have thought however after the uproar about both Sophie and Grace being in the same form that a certain teacher would have learnt, but no.

"Antics of an Atheists" own Managing Editor (that's second in charge for those that know nothing of the newsroom) DPF (seen below) was another of the lucky students to get chosen - not really a surprise, some would argue that DPF is potentially Saz's favourite Dan.. so.. well, Y'kno. Secondly Lydia Hewitt-Lee, year 13's only half Chinese student and choreographer for The Sarah Hall Show's talent show entry... yes, that's right, again another two members of Sarah Halls form.



I'm not going to add anything else to today's blog, I just thought I'd put that out there. My feelings go out to all the other loyal and faithful students who tried so hard and were knocked down by potential favouritism. Tune in tomorrow for DPF's edition on Auschwitz.

L x

P.S this blog "fully supports" the fact that Sarah did not pick out the students who attended the trip and they were chosen by a senior member of staff. Don't want this to be read by Sarah and for her to go crazy and shave her hair or something.... oh, wait.