Sarah's latest saga!

BREAKING NEWS!

SARAH HALL HAS BEEN LOCKED IN THE RS DEPARTMENT

Sarah was tidying out her back cupboard last Friday when the site team where doing their final 1/2 term checks. Whilst visiting each department, they saw Saz and decided to take revenge on her (after she moaned the NE block was too cold for 3 months, then complained when they turned the heating up last year) by locking the doors and thus her in. She has been surviving up there on nothing but Matzah bread and Filter Coffee.

Unfortunately the only person who holds a key to the department is Clare Jameson, who is on holidaying in Ireland getting ratted on Jamesons Irish Whiskey and Magners. Sarah is going to be locked in for the remainder of the week, her only contact with the outside world the temperamental email system.

She gave an exclusive interview to anticsofanathiest saying: "I feel like a Chilean Miner! Locked away from the outside world. I have been wearing the same accessories since last Friday. Dan hadn't noticed my gone until Sunday morning, when he put down the XBOX remote for his Buddha time. My IPHONE 4 has died and I can't access Facebook. All I have for warmth is my hair-straighteners. "

Big J, the fearless leader of BC said "Sarah is showing excellent character, and we are making a documentary on her for Auschwitz week! We are feeding her gin through a pipe in the roof, and slipping Jewish Mutzah bread under the door. She is having a thoroughly good time! May we all pray for her, even though she is a stinking atheist".

Come back tomorrow for another Sarah exclusive!

Much Love

DPF

Sarah Hall Fact of the Day

Part two of this 1/2 terms interesting facts about Sarah and it has to be said, not many of you will know this one!

Both being an avid member of the Conservative Party, Sarah and I share a range of similar attributes! We both dislike the same teachers, and love others (such as the delightful Miss Bayley and Bodders). We are also both TV personalities, Sarah being on teachers TV, and myself staring in Homes from Hell, I blame the bricklayer! We share the same gin type, Tanquray. The only difference is that Sarah was ' a child of the 90's, and hence a dirty druggy and piercing addict! Something she shares more closely with Samson and Trew Trew. Just like Luce, Sarah is also frequently pissed in class.

Come back tomorrow for more top tips and factoids on what we like to call, The Beast!

Much Love

DPF x

Missing Chocolates.

Though there has been many suspects and assumptions made about the missing treats in the halls of Blue Coat and also on the Sarah Hall appreciation group on facebook...

rumour has it that Ellie Whoresfield was seen grasping the bag of Cadbury's Caramels before leaving for the brook...

A reconstructed photography of what the villain
may have looked like.

L x

1/2 Term Entertainment

It's 1/2 term and Sarah is taking a well deserved break! Unfortunately this means that we don't get our daily dose of Sarah and hence we will be starting a new feature to last us these 10 days.

Little Known Facts about the Beast!

Factoid number one:

Sarah gets very protective over her possessions especially food. Although

being on a killer salary, she went crazy at Sophie Drews for munching

away on a Chuppa Chup lolly that she had saved for her year 10's,

and cause civil war within her department when the Cadbury's Caramels

went missing. But who did steal those chocolates? Answers on a post card please!

Come back tomorrow to find out more interesting facts about Sarah Hall!

Rehearsal Day 1

Day one of the mystery rehearsals has commenced with Sarah leading the way in the dancing.

Sarah like most wild creatures has incredibly sensitive ears and if the volume creeps one decibel too high she shrieks "turn it down, they're recording down there!!!!" similar to her desperate plea "I have guides I have guides".

She was very critical of our head girl claiming she was putting too much shoulder action into the routine.

Sarah clearly wasn't feeling herself today, she she looked like a normal teacher. She usually shares her wardrobe with the wild Nikki and Bayley but today she looked rather normal, as if she had slipped into one of Miss Whiskey's outfits?

Sarah has aired her concerns that our xmas performance is the day after college party - however judging from this recent on - non of us will have tickets to attend anyway!!

Come back tomorrow to see what type of mood Sarah is in on the last day of term, and an accessories breakdown!

Much love

DPF x

Fashion Crisis

Dear my beloved readers....

It's been a hard core weekend for the sensational Sarah.

On the Friday, me and Saz spent the afternoon in church, looking at dead bodies in the crypt. Me and the Irish one kicked our group into shape (literally) and she let hers run loose. It came the moment when she went outside, and took on a group of teens single-handed. The chav's picked up on her middle class swagger, and were quick to pounce. But Sarah has experience with these types - she was form tutor with BH11 and was involved in a car hijack situation. Before they had time to go "eeeyaaar" she whipped out her Kirpan and jabbed the alpha male in the eye! The children watched in amazement - "thank God for the Sikhs" she chanted! Religious Education has come alive since she took over the department!

Saturday kicked of with her and Claire (of the Irish Variety - damn the EU, she would have never got a Visa otherwise) going to some goonies party. Sarah was quick to tell us that she came 2nd for best dressed and second for best dancer - after having a dance off with - her words not mine - "a rather attractive man!" - Watch it Dan - Claire J is a bad influence! Sarah best dressed - pleaaaase!

She got so drunk she didn't make it home, and rocked up to school this morning still in her outfit. Pink triadic stars dangle from her ears, beads out of a Christmas cracker and that rather offensive Nazi dress - oh the irony. She was smashed on Babycham! And as the night progressed into Sunday morning she went hardcore, and necked a bottle of Methylated Spirit thus dying her hands purple! She longs for a student to need their passport forms signing so she can get another bottle of Gin out of her career!

Today back in NE24, she remembered that yet again she hadn't done a lesson plan. Realising she had exhausted the Vardy collection, she made her students sit in silence and complete a QMA.

We all wait eagerly for the events that will unfold tomorrow!

Much Love

DPF x

Good morning campers....

Firstly, could I please just point out to the anonymous blogger in the previous post - Sarah drinks Tanqueray not Bombay Sapphire - and as I write this blog now, I too am sat sipping a Tanqueray and tonic (with lots of Ice, glass rimmed with lime, squeeze in the glass and a slice of refreshing lemon), listening to Radio 2, immersing myself in Stuart Maconie! Heaven!!! But less about me, as this isn't the Antics of a Bricklayer blog!

Now, Sarah was looking a little chirpier today. After her night with the Girl Guides - "No I have guides, I have guides". She came in looking glowing, her night on the portable sun-bed had done her good.

But as we all know, when Sarah feels happy, she starts insulting the kids.

Period three came, and it was time for Philosophy. James Mayal entered "JAMES, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR HAIR" she asked insultingly. Then some fool mentioned the Hindu Dancer - "DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE HINDU DANCER - YESTERDAY WAS SHAMBOLIC, I NEARLY HAD A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN".

The topic of conversation moved on to the shambolic, disgraceful farce of a cake sale that occurred today, that had to be cancelled because clearance wasn't gained from the 'lunch time supervisors' downstairs! She went on to confess what she did when she was at school. The class stopped, worrying about what she was going to say, and if a letter to Jules would be warranted! "I made biscuits for all my teachers".

Sarah then gave up with the lesson, slammed on some Peter Vardy and put her feet up on the desk- oh how she laughed! It is a well known fact that Sarah laughs at people's clothes - however admitted today she only has one mirror in her house - won't go on to reveal where its located.

So I leave you looking forward to tomorrow - and what Sarah will be wearing - I think the French Maid Outfit may be making an appearence whilst the year 7's 'get to know her'!

Much Love

DPF x