Monday, 18 October 2010

Fashion Crisis

Dear my beloved readers....

It's been a hard core weekend for the sensational Sarah.

On the Friday, me and Saz spent the afternoon in church, looking at dead bodies in the crypt. Me and the Irish one kicked our group into shape (literally) and she let hers run loose. It came the moment when she went outside, and took on a group of teens single-handed. The chav's picked up on her middle class swagger, and were quick to pounce. But Sarah has experience with these types - she was form tutor with BH11 and was involved in a car hijack situation. Before they had time to go "eeeyaaar" she whipped out her Kirpan and jabbed the alpha male in the eye! The children watched in amazement - "thank God for the Sikhs" she chanted! Religious Education has come alive since she took over the department!
Saturday kicked of with her and Claire (of the Irish Variety - damn the EU, she would have never got a Visa otherwise) going to some goonies party. Sarah was quick to tell us that she came 2nd for best dressed and second for best dancer - after having a dance off with - her words not mine - "a rather attractive man!" - Watch it Dan - Claire J is a bad influence! Sarah best dressed - pleaaaase!

She got so drunk she didn't make it home, and rocked up to school this morning still in her outfit. Pink triadic stars dangle from her ears, beads out of a Christmas cracker and that rather offensive Nazi dress - oh the irony. She was smashed on Babycham! And as the night progressed into Sunday morning she went hardcore, and necked a bottle of Methylated Spirit thus dying her hands purple! She longs for a student to need their passport forms signing so she can get another bottle of Gin out of her career!

Today back in NE24, she remembered that yet again she hadn't done a lesson plan. Realising she had exhausted the Vardy collection, she made her students sit in silence and complete a QMA.

We all wait eagerly for the events that will unfold tomorrow!

Much Love

DPF x


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